I just took this family quiz. I knew I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home, but the Simpsons? 20 Questions to having a Better Family: Your score as a human being is 53. This makes you like The Simpsons. This score isn't so bad. There's hugs and kisses at the end of the day, no matter if they're cynical or sandwiched between comments about how wide your ass is getting. You haven't beat your parents -- you joined them. The bright side is you have a lot of stories to share, ...

I was getting my hair cut today, down the block from my office. The stylist washes my hair, sits me down, and takes a short look at the picture I give her. She then asks, " What would you like?". Are you serious? I would like to look like Brittney Spears! So, I state in my usual, casual demeanor, "Please just cut it so that it's fast and easy to fix in the morning. I have three kids to dress every day as well as my self." She then gives me this totally blank stare and her mouth drops open...